


Iron and Rust

by underscoped



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, BAMF Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake & Raven Reyes Friendship, Bisexual Raven Reyes, F/F, Finn Collins Bashing, Finn Collins Lives, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jealous Lexa, Lexaven, Octavia Blake & Lexa Friendship, Octavia Blake & Raven Reyes Friendship, Protective Lexa, Raven-centric, Sassy Raven Reyes, lexa woods - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2019-09-13 20:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16899216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underscoped/pseuds/underscoped
Summary: “Stay with me, alright?” She heard, she tried to focus on the person in front of her but all she could see was the fear in forest green eyes staring back at her. “Stay with me.”“Why?”And when that one word left her mouth, a smile made its way onto her face at how the person started to practically scream at her to stay awake when she closed her eyes. How they tried to shake her, soft enough for her know they didn’t want to hurt her but hard and fast enough for her know that she knew they wanted her to stay awake.She shook her head before she finally drifted away into unconsciousness, feeling at ease with herself and somehow free in a deep, dark and twisted way.





	1. Late night Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooohhh finn!!

Raven had a smile on her face, a huge ass smile on her face.

She knocked on the door with the hand that didn’t have the food in it and waited. She didn’t have to wait long though, because the door opened just seconds after she put her hand back down on her leg.

“Raven?” His sleepy voice said, his eyes widening slightly before he put on a smile, “What are you doing here?”

Raven waved her hand, smiling at him. “I came to surprise my boyfriend with food, but it seems he slept a little too long.” She said as she threw a glance over her shoulder at him. “Studies keeping you up?”

Finn nodded quickly, giving a quick smirk before disappearing off into the living room while she was in the kitchen.

“I got some beer, do you want a beer?”

When Raven didn’t get an answer to her question she only shook her head and grabbed him a beer anyway, knowing he would’ve wanted one just because she had one.

“Okay, so, I also brought a few movies we could watch while I give you a break from studying–” Raven’s voice cut off when she walked into the living room, seeing not only Finn but someone else, a  _girl_ , with her hands on Finn’s face. “I’m sorry, were you two studying together?”

It was quiet for a few more seconds before someone started to speak.

“Yeah, Raven we were studying together, we have a midterm soon, and she’s the smartest girl in my class, so I asked her for _help_ ,” Finn explained quickly as if he knew where Raven’s brain was going.

Somehow, though, Raven could sense that wasn’t the end of it, especially because what he said finally caught up with her.

She looked between the two of them, and then looked around the room. Raven then nodded her head slowly, she put the beer down on the table next to her and stood there, hands on her hips and her eyes narrowing.

“You asked her for help?” She asked. Eyes watching as Finn nodded slowly but catching the way his eyes darted to the girl next to him and how he swallowed hard. “You,  _Finn Collins_ , asked for  _help_?”

Finn nodded, and then his smile appeared again. “You know what, babe? This is my fault. I fell asleep while she was explaining something to me and then I forgot to say was our day, but I’ve got it covered now.”

Before Raven could speak up, though, the girl spoke up, eyes wide as she looked between them.

“ _Babe_?”

And just like that, everything clicked in her head, all the alarms bells she had been hearing quietly came out full force in her ears. She shook her head, trying to dismiss even the mere  _thought_.

However, shaking her head did not dismiss the thought, it only attracted more of the same ones, different scenarios running through her head as she stared at Finn look between her and the other girl with a confused, bitter look on his face.

“I loved you,” are the first broken words that escaped her mouth. She didn’t mean to say them, but hell, they didn’t mean they didn’t have any truth to them because they did. “I loved you.”

It was like a mantra in her head, and damn Finn because he knew her so well that he tried to reach out for her, only to be pushed back. And it was when the girl reached out for him that her heart broke at what she saw.

It wasn’t the love in her eyes, it wasn’t the fear that quickly passed through Finn’s, it was was the bracelet that sat on her right wrist. A small animal, made from the same material that her necklace was made of, and that’s when she broke.

A choked sound mixed between a laugh and a son left her mouth and the other two people froze, looking at her with worried, wide eyes.

“I see I’m not as special as you once made me think,” she said, another sound exiting her mouth. This time it was a humorless laugh as she tore the necklace from around her neck and tossing it to his feet. “You can have him,” she started before looking to the girl, “because I don’t even know who he is anymore.”

Raven ignored him calling her, ignored him trying to calm the girl down as he kept calling for her, she ignored the girl screaming at her once but now ex-boyfriend. Raven just couldn’t take it, she ran down the stairs, the elevator somehow not appearing fast enough to get her away from him.

However, when she left the building, her heart broke just a little bit more. Not only was she staring at the truck that her and Finn once fixed together, but it was the same truck that they had their first time in.

Stupid now that she thinks about it.

She let out another choked sob as she stumbled away from the car, trying to erase the car from her sight and hopefully even from her memory.

Without thinking clearly, Raven dropped to the ground, she was only a block away from the building but it was still in sight. She leaned against the wall as she just cried, she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. Her body shaking at the force of the sobs exiting her body.

After about ten or fifteen minutes, Raven stopped caring about the time, she pulled out her phone and dialed the first number she saw.

“Hello?”

It was then it finally clicked who she called.

“O?”

“Raven? Are you okay?” The question seemed to break something inside of her as she let out a dry chuckle.

She shook her head, honest through her body but lying through her mouth when she answered, “I’m fine, just checking in.” She didn’t let Octavia get a word in before speaking. “I’ll be out late, don’t wait up.”

The phone hung up shortly after and she wisely cut off her phone because she knew Octavia wouldn’t leave her to her peace.

She stood back up, her balance slightly off, she debated about which way to go, whether to go back to her truck or just walk aimlessly because either way, she wasn’t going back to Finn’s apartment, and she damn sure wasn’t going home.

Deciding for the latter, Raven turned away from the truck and left it far in her rearview as she walked. She thrust her hands into the pockets of her red jacket when the wind started to get to her.

She didn’t get more than four more blocks away when her body and mind finally got on the same page and she began to feel heavy. She tried her hardest to keep walking but when her body demanded she listens, Raven just dropped slowly to the ground, she heard the gasps of the people still on the streets at the time.

She wondered why they were still up at around three in the morning, she curled up into a fetus position, wincing when she gets someone touch her.

“Leave me alone,” she warned them, she may have been tired but her self-defense classes and fighting with Octavia would never leave her mind, especially when they lived in Arkadia.

“Oh, don’t be like that, pretty thing.” The man smiled deviously as he tried to kiss her, only to get punched in his crotch, and then flipped on the ground when Raven switched their positions.

“Sorry, but no,” Raven said as her tiredness suddenly left her and her energy came back full force.

Raven got back up, leaving the man to hold himself in pain as she tried to hurry away from the watching eyes, she turned down an alley only to stop at what she saw. There were four people in the alley, three people standing over one person who was covered in what she was smart to assume was their own blood.

She gave them a wary smile, she would’ve stepped in had she been prepared but right now, she was too unstable with her emotions. “Uh, carry on, but, you know, don’t.”

She turned and sprinted back the way she came, and she knew they were chasing after her, she was heading back for Finn when her anger got the best of her and made her make a sharp turn and that’s when she got lost because she’s never been down this road and she has no idea where she was going.

And that’s what her downfall became. Because while she didn’t know the street, the three people did because when she looked back she only saw one and started to smile until she ran smack dab into another one. Then, there was the last came from the other way.

Deciding her life was definitely in danger, she kicked the one behind her and then punching the one in front of her and turning to the one to left only to howl in pain when she felt something gets lodged into her back.

She tried to pull it out before she remembered what she learned from Clarke ‘ _never pull anything out, it’s the quickest way to kill, but also the quickest way to die._ ’

She wheezed in pain as the three men ran as fast as the could away from her as she dropped to the ground on her side, trying to reach to wherever whatever they stabbed her with was, but failing to reach it. She cried and screamed for help but knew no one would come, she cried out as she sobbed because if today was the last day of her life, she was going to come back with vengeance to get and hell to raise.

But then she heard someone yell. She heard the sound of feet heading toward her. Raven almost cried in joy but instead, she wheezed in even more pain at just the idea.

“Stay with me, alright?” She heard, she tried to focus on the person in front of her but all she could see was the fear in terrified forest green eyes staring back at her. “Stay with me.”

“ _Why_?”

And when that one word left her mouth, a smile made its way onto her face at how the person started to practically scream at her to stay awake when she closed her eyes. How they tried to shake her, soft enough for her know they didn’t want to hurt her but hard and fast enough for her know that she knew they wanted her to stay awake.

She shook her head before she finally drifted away into unconsciousness, feeling at ease with herself and somehow free in a deep, dark and twisted way.


	2. Pain Ain’t Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up to unknown people can be terrifying, do it enough though, and you just become curious. Or Angry.

When Raven woke up hours later – after she fell unconscious – the first thing she noticed was the level of pain she had been in had gone down considerably. The second thing, however, was her location.

Of all the places the girl had been, she didn’t recognize the one she was currently in, and it worried to no end.

She was about to try and stand when a voice made her freeze before she could even start the action.

“I wouldn’t,” she heard, “we don’t know what the stab did to you yet. It could’ve done some real damage.”

Raven nodded tightly, eyes narrowing at the person in front of her, and while her vision was just a little hazy, she knew that didn’t know them. The voice doing all the work the face couldn’t.

“So,” Raven heard again. “Wanna tell me your name?”

She scoffed loudly before she looked to them. “Not a chance.” She told them. Raven had enough of trusting people, from now own she was protecting herself, and it started now.

The person tilted their head, a small smirk playing on their lips. “Not very thankful for a person whose life I just saved.”

Raven’s jaw set, she clenched her fist before releasing them, the memory of earlier in the morning coming to head.

The attack on her is what she remembered first, but then, then she remembered the real damage. She recalled that she had caught Finn, caught him in the before act of him breaking her heart, and shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

She remember how he tried to play it off, like he had excuses on standby just in case he caught got. How he tried to explain it like it was some math problem that he knew the answer to and she didn’t.

More importantly, she remembered the feeling of her heart breaking, how she felt when he left him there. The one person who knew her, who she thought would stand by her in the hard times, and it all turned out to be the biggest lie she’d ever believe.

And she’d turned out to be the fool, and she hated it.

Raven didn’t know she was hyperventilating until the sound of a door busting open broke through to her ears, her head snapped towards the sound and she saw two more people.

Their mouths were moving but the words she knew they were saying weren’t coming through to her. Her hands that were clenching the bedsheet below her started to release them at the thought of what was happening.

They kept speaking to her, and she kept trying to listen, but with not hearing them it was becoming harder to focus on which person was talking to her. The person smiling at her, the person frowning, or the person behind her whose fingers were running through her hair. Whose breath she was feeling on her ear.

Too many voices, too many memories, too much pain, and too much life.

In the moment, Raven just really wanted everything to stop. So she did the only thing she remembered how to do, she screamed at them.

“SHUT THE _FUCK_  UP!”

And just like that, silence rang through the room like nothing else had before. Their eyes widened as the mouths snapped clothes, the fingers in her hair hesitated before stopping completely, and she could finally breathe.

Raven took a minute to calm down her breathing, knowing Clarke would kill her if she died of a panic attack that she shouldn’t have had.

When she finally open her eyes again, she was alone, or as alone as she was with just the one girl in the room with her again.

“Are you okay?”

She laughed nervously and dryly, “Stupid question.”

The girl shook her head. “ _Valid_ question.” Raven went to speak when the door opened again and a head was poking through.

“Le–” the little boy’s eyes snapped to her before back to the girl in front of her. “–Heda, they wish your presence.”

She didn’t look away from Raven as she responded with, “Tell them I’ll be there.” The door closed behind the little boy and the girl still hadn’t moved. “Well, seeing as I have been requested, I take it you understand my leaving?”

Raven rolled her eyes, “My happiness doesn’t rely on your presence.” She declared. “Plus, I’d rather be alone anyway.”

“Care to share?” The girl, whose nickname she learned was ‘Heda’, titled her head.

“Nope, not really,” Raven shook her head.

With a final nod, the girl was gone and Raven was finally physically alone as she mentally and emotionally felt. But, somehow, Raven knew that she wouldn’t be alone long. She knew they weren’t stupid enough to leave her alone, she knew there was probably someone outside the room door, and she also knew she had to use the bathroom.

With a angry sigh, Raven shoves the covers off of her body and slowly turned herself so she halfway off the bed. But when she took the first step, her body fell to the floor beneath her.

The pain in her back started up again, and a new pain in her leg had made itself known, and at that moment, Raven knew she was fucked.

She let out a small scream before snapping her mouth shut, remembering where she was. Though, her effort seemed to be in vain as the door was open in the next second and someone was standing over her.

“Ah! What have you done?”

“Nothing!” She bit back, apparently surprising the man with the way his eyes widened.

With a shout of something in another language he was bending down to pick her up. Despite her efforts to push him away, he succeed in getting her back on the bed.

“Stop moving.” He demanded as he tried to figure out what was wrong, poking and prodding her in places he’d assume the pain would be.

Raven winced as jolt shot through her. “Stop touching me.” Was all she could manage before the door opened again and another man was coming in, hands full of equipment Raven didn’t know the names off.

“Lincoln, hold her down before she breaks herself,” the man said before he went to touch her knee, causing Raven to scream out as she jumped to get away from the pain. “Well well, I’ve found the problem.”

Raven didn’t care what he found, all she knew was this strange man was cussing more pain than he was making it subside, and therefore he was her enemy right now.

“I swear to god, if you poke me again I will stab you.” she gritted out, hating the way the man laughed at her. “What’s so funny?”

“You’ve really no idea where you are?”

That made Raven actually realize she didn’t know where she was, and that she’d been surprising calm despite herself.

“Nope,” she started to say, but it was cut off by a yell of pain before she blacked out, the pain being too much coming from too many places. Her head, her heart, her leg and her back – all of them were causing the same amount of pain, as if competing to see which could cause her to break first.

 

〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎

 

When Raven woke up for the second time that day, she immediately wanted to go back to being unconscious.

Being woken up to the sound of voices she didn’t recognize and had a hand touching her head, she was too tired to fight back, but too awake to ignore them.

“Next hand to go against my head is losing a finger.” She groaned, liking how it went quiet. She kept her eyes closed, shifting to move to another position when she felt she couldn’t move. “The fuck?”

Her eyes sprang open and immediately went to her leg, there was a cast on it and it was propped upon some pillows.

“I told you not to move.” A familiar voice said and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes, instead focusing on her leg.

“What the hell did you people do?”

The girl, ‘Heda’, sighed as she took a seat on the bed next to her. “Your leg is in pretty bad shape, we can’t tell what’s wrong with it yet but it’s obvious something’s wrong.”

Raven gritted her teeth, “So basically, you have nothing useful.” She ignored the way the girl glared at her and went into her pocket for her phone, eyes widening when she didn’t feel it. “Where’s my phone?”

“We took it,” she started, “for safety reasons.”

She scoffed loudly before growling at the idea of having her stuff taken from her. “I want to get the hell out of here, as soon as possible please.”

“Can’t, not until we know what’s wrong.”

Raven groaned as she fell back. “You don’t know me, I don’t know you, why can’t you just let me leave.”

“You could die, I care about that.” The girl shrugged her admission as though it was nothing.

“Well, you shouldn’t and maybe I want to die,” Raven winced as soon as words left her mouth. She didn’t think them through and now she’s wishing she would’ve.

“Why would you want to die?” The girl tilted her head, green eyes filled with sudden concerned.

Raven ignored her and closed her eyes again, hoping she was having a reoccurring nightmare and that this would be over soon.

But, it wasn’t a nightmare, and it won’t be over anytime soon.

“Everyone clear out,” she heard the girl say. As everyone cleared out she stood as well. When they were finally alone she spoke again. “I’ll leave you to yourself for the rest of the day, but when night falls, we’ll have you join us for dinner.”

“But–”

Raven was cut off with the wave of a hand and shake of a head. “There is no budging of this subject. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

And with that, Raven was left alone with the guarantee she’ll be joining people in a few hours, and she couldn’t think of anything worse than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever, hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Looking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is hard when you lead, it’s harder when you’re younger than the people who follow you.

“All I’m saying is I wished you’d have thought it through,”

Lexa rolled her eyes for the fourth time that day as she walked around the safe house, Anya and Indra not far behind her.

“Indra,” Lexa sighed, tired of the repetition. “It’s done, move on.” She could practically feel the disapproval of Indra’s glare and she immediately backtracked. “I apologize. What I meant was, I take your opinion seriously but the deed has already been done.”

She heard Anya snort from beside her, shooting her a quick glare and getting a raised eyebrow in response. “What? You should’ve known what you were gonna get by bringing her here,” Lexa opened her mouth, ready to defend her choice, but she was stopped as Anya kept talking. “Yes, I know, ‘she was dying’. But are you really going to bring home every dying person on the street, because then we’ll be a fucking homeless shelter.”

Ignoring her sister, Lexa went about walking around, looking for one person in particular. The blonde haired boy was never where she needed him to be but always where he wasn’t supposed to be, something undoubtedly he got from growing up around Anya and Lexa.

“If you’re looking for Aden, he might be in the back.” She heard Indra sigh from beside her.

Lexa came to a halt, turning to Indra, “The back, why?”

Indra rolled her eyes at the woman in front of her, still very much a young girl in her eyes. “He’s been hanging around you two so much he feels the need to know to defend himself, or at the very least, someone else.”

“He doesn’t need to know how to do anything but survive.” Anya corrected her, eyes narrowing at the dark skinned woman.

“But, you two make surviving sound like a one winner type of game, and everyone knows he worships the ground you walk on, especially you, Lexa.”

When the words left Indra’s mouth, Lexa’s shaped into a deep frown, her mind going over everything she might’ve said around the boy before cursing herself. “I know where he is, I’ll be back.”

Before either of the two woman could protest, Lexa was off and heading in the direction of one place and one place only - the tree.

 

〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎

 

Her steps were fast and quiet, something that they all took pride in growing up. But it also something they mastered at a young age, something that helped them make it this far without being caught.

When she neared the tree, she could hear rather than see him, she could hear his small fists connecting with then punching pad. She could hear his soft grunts of both tiredness and strength making their way out.

And in the odd sisterly bond she had with him, she was proud of him, but she was so disappointed in herself for not seeing that he wanted to do this.

When she finally came around the corner, she halted completely.

Aden stood there in front of the tree in a fighting stance, ducking to the left once before doing it again to the right. It was the same thing she did everyday before breakfast, letting her know just how much Aden paid attention.

But it wasn’t just the ducking that caught her attention, it was the fact that he had her whole routine down packed, that he knew it and her own partner could barely keep up with her. Another thing that proved just how serious Aden was about it.

Another thing that showed he looked up to her more than he should.

“Aden!” She called, making him jump away from the tree as if it was on fire. “What are you doing?” She questioned softly, even though they both knew she knew the answer.

“N-nothing.” He nodded to himself before looking to her. “Nothing.”

Lexa shook her head at him, “Didn’t look like ‘nothing’.”

Aden shrugged carefully. “Well, looks can be deceiving.”

Deciding that this was something he need to tell her on his own, she shook the need to make him say it to her from her mind.

“True,” she responded with a tight smile. “But, I have a very important job for you. “

She watched the way his eyes lit up at the idea of being one of the few people she trusted, and it made her smile.

“What, what is it?”

“Well, you know about our hues already, right?” Aden nodded his answer quickly. “She’s going to need help getting around, and you, Aden, are going to be her help.”

She watched once again as his eyes lit up at the job, something he took seriously no doubt.

Aden nodded, “You can count on me.”

Lexa smiles as she threw her arm over his shoulder. “I know I can, kid, I know.” She knew just how much this job meant to him, and she knew he was going to be the best one at it. 

Not because she asked him to, but because that’s just how he was: a great kid with a determination that some people would kill for. 

He also was her brother, and if there was anything running through his veins, it was the Woods stubbornness. 

“So,” Aden started his eye twinkling with excitement. “When do I start?”

Lexa shook the thoughts away as she came back into the present. “Well, she’s joking us for dinner, so you’ll be wheeling her there, and back.” She pauses for a moment before doubling thinking. “Also, anywhere else she might need to go, except the bathroom, leave that Anya, Indra, of myself.”

”Yes ma’am.” Aden mocked, saluting her sarcastically. 

She pushed him away with a chuckle, “Get away from me you idiot.” Lexa watched him laugh as he ran away, no doubt to go brag to Anya he had the duty of wheeling around their guest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am again.


	4. Official Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> putting names to faces, and attitudes to those names.

"No."

It was the first word that left Raven's mouth when the door opened again, hours later, when the sunlight had stopped coming from the window. She didn't know who it was, refused to care and refused to back down.

"No?" She heard, something bordering amusement in the voice. "No to what?"

Raven scoffed but responded anyway. "I'm not going to wherever it is you're here to take me to."

Turning her head when she didn't get a response, she was met with two very similar smirks, both of which caused her to tense up. "What?" She questioned them, suspension seeping into her voice as she added, "What's so freaking funny?"

"You refuse for me to take you anywhere, that's fine," Heda started, her smirk getting larger by the second as she continued, "however Aden here is the one escorting you, and you can't refuse a child."

She snorted, but her comeback was quickly cut off by the pout the boy wore, his eyes widening as he saw what she was going to do. "Oh, please don't do that, kid." Raven was ignored when Aden kept pouting, the only way to know it was for show was the contradicting smile in his eyes.

Both Aden and Heda smiled victoriously when Raven sighed. She waved Aden over, eyeing him up and down, and he stood there, his smile still in place no matter how hard Raven glared at him.

"Fine," huffed, "just freaking fine." She watched as Aden did a little dance an gave a high-five Heda, as she only nodded to him. "Stop being so damn happy about this."

Head only seemed to smile harder as Aden did the same, the resemblance between them becoming more apparent.

"Well, Aden," Heda started, "get her choices, we've got a dinner to get to." She nodded to Raven as she departed, Aden following right after her.

It was only a few minutes she was alone before Aden was back with a wheelchair and some crutches. "I'm back," he smiled.

Raven couldn't stop herself from smiling back as she watched him pull the pillows from beneath her leg that was in a cast. He was careful, looking to her every few seconds to make sure he wasn't hurting her.

When he was finished, he nodded to himself making her smile even harder, unbeknownst to her, of course. "Thank you," is what she told him as she sat up and turned her body toward him, careful not to hurt herself.

"You're welcome," he started, "you have two choices: crutches or the wheelchair."

"Crutches." She answered immediately, she refused to be pushed around in a wheelchair, no matter what anybody said, she refused it.

Aden nodded while he pushed I'm the wheelchair out of the way and grabbing the crutches from where they were on the wheelchair.

Giving her one crutch, Aden moved to the other side, placing her arm over his shoulder as he pulled her to a standing position. He waited until they stopped swaying to slowly move from next to her, handing her the second crutch quickly so she wouldn't have to balance on one.

"And done." He told her, happy that he's doing good so far. "Now, off we go."

Raven moved after him as he held open the room door, showing her a hallway she had seen a few times while people were rushing in joy out of where she was.

"Heres the hallway, but the dining room is that way." He pointed to her right and walked beside her as she started heading in the direction. "It's pasta day, we're having spaghetti." He eagerly stated, looking to her before smiling again.

"Who's we?" Raven question as he steered her to the left this time, rolling her eyes as he shook his at her sense of direction.

Aden smiled, "Me, Lexa, Indra, Lincoln, Gustus, Anya." He laughed as he realized she had no idea who he just named off. "They're my family."

Raven nodded as they finally reached the dining room, the walk here feeling longer than it would've had she not had crutches.

She followed the young boy as he led her to a spot at the table, pulling her chair back and grabbing her churches one before the other as she sat down. She smiled had thanks when he sat down next to her.

They chatted for a few minutes longer before others joined them. She only recognized three of them as the other two remained a mystery to her.

Heda nodded at her and Aden before taking the seat at the head of the table, everyone sitting after her, and it became clear to Raven that she was in charge here.

"Everyone, as you can see, we have a guest," she started and all headshot to Raven who ducked her head in embarrassment. "And I expect for all of you to treat her as such."

With a few murmurs of 'yes' and 'of course', Heda nodded and they started to eat the spaghetti in front of them.

They all conversed as though nothing was different, and they didn't have a new face in front of them. The only one who talked with her Aden, and she was happy for it.

"How old are you?" She asked him after swallowing some spaghetti, groaning at how good it was.

Aden laughed at her response to the food. "I'm fifteen."

Raven's mouth opened as she stared at him in surprise. "Liar, no way!" She refused as he laughed even harder. "You are not fifteen."

"Why can't I be fifteen?" He tilted his head as the question, waiting for her to answer.

"I've seen fifteen-year-olds, I was a fifteen-year-old," she told him. "They cannot be as tall as you are."

She glared as he tried to stifle a laugh and failed. "Guess it's in my genes." 

Raven glared again before simply going back to eating her food. "How old are you?"

Raven waited she finished with what was in her mouth before answering, "I'm nineteen." When she didn't get an answer in response, she looked over to see that he was starting her down. "What, is there something on my face?"

"No," he shook his head, "I just thought you would be at least twenty or twenty-one."

She didn't say anything other a quick 'mhm' before she went back to silence, watching everyone at the table interact around her. She took her time staring at each of them, trying to understand them.

Aden didn't point out who was who, so she took it upon herself to figure it out. She looked to the dark-skinned woman first, her hard face would make Raven think she rude and uncaring, but the way her eyes softened as she spoke told her otherwise. She was probably kind when she wanted to be, and Raven figured it would take time to earn the kindness.

Next, she looked to the man sitting next to her, his face was nothing but kindness, and she believed he nothing but it.

After that came the man who helped him when she fell off the bed, she knew he was smart, having know which medical equipment to grab. With the way he was built, he looked to be a fighter, however it contradicted with a soft look in his eyes, he was like the dark-skinned woman but the opposite; kind all the time and rude when warranted.

Looking to the woman across from her, her face was hard, along with her eyes, and by the way, she kept shooting Raven glares through the dinner, it was clear she wasn't liked. She was probably the meanest at the table, but the way she looked at Aden ruined that whole thing, and she was starting to think they were all big softies.

Lastly, she looked Heda, who was conversing the woman in front of her in another language, she was obviously in charge, based where she's seated at currently. Raven only knew she had humor and could be whatever was called for, seeing as she was the only one to speak with her. With reason she was the only one to ever be in the room with her, the exception being Aden, she was obviously the only level-headed one.

She was starting the table when, suddenly, she felt something wet hit the side of her face. She immediately looked to Aden, he a sported a grin.

"They were calling you, and you seemed lost in thought." Aden reasoned, making Raven look around the table to see all eyes on her.

Uncomfortable with all the eyes on her, she ducked her head before addressing Aden. "I want to go back to my room."

Aden nodded and excused the both of them as he helped Raven stand. "May we be excused?"

"You may," she heard Heda sigh, and she ignored the rest if talk as she walked back to her room.

It was when they finally made it back when Aden asked her, "Are you okay?"

Raven smiled at his obvious concern. "I'm fine, just tired I guess," she sighed when she laid down again and frozen when Aden was still there. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he admitted he pulled something from his pocket, before handing it to Raven. "Just wanted to give you this."

He left before she could even say 'thank you', seeing as he had given Raven her phone back.

Suddenly, Raven groaned when she remembered she hung up on Octavia, leaving the girl angry and confused, which never made for any good.

Cutting on her phone, she saw a hundred notifications she had and groaned as she knew that it had already reached well past terrifying for her friends.

Calling Octavia, she prepared herself for the worst and was surprised when all she got was silence on the other end. 

"Hello, O?" She hesitated, though she was happy she did when she heard the deep breathe harder and take in a deep breathe.

"Raven fucking Reyes!" She winced as she heard Octavia scream at her. " _Where the hell were you? Where the hell are you?_ "

"I'm fine, O, I'm fine." She told her instead, she knew better than to tell Octavia that she didn't know where she was, the girl would go banging on every door in the city to find out. "Take a deep breath."

She heard Octavia scoff. " _Deep breathe? You've been MIA for the past twenty-four hours after that last phone call, then Finn calls, yelling that you were overreacting and that–_ "

"He said _what_?" Raven hissed, just clenching the comforter beneath it. "That _son of a bitch!_ "

" _Whoa, don't you get angry,_ " Octavia growled at her, " _you don't have the right to be angry._ "

Raven scoffed, forgetting she didn't know. "Were you the one who got cheated on, _no_. Exactly." She snorted before slamming her eyes shut.

" _He cheated on you?_ " Octavia hissed through the phone, and it didn't take a genius to known that she getting ready to find him.

"O,–"

She was cut off by Octavia. " _Are you okay?_ " She was about to be sarcastic when Octavia spoke again. "Not _mentally or emotionally because I know you're fucked up right now, but physically, did anybody hurt you, did he hurt you?_ "

"No, he didn't hurt me, and yes I'm okay physically," Raven told her, sighing as she heard Octavia sigh.

" _I'm calling back in an hour if you don't answer..._ " Octavia knew she didn’t have to finish that sentence, that Raven would know exactly what she was saying without her having to say it.

“I will.” She promised and listened to Octavia yell something to someone before hanging up. She sighed, knowing that the next time she saw Finn he’d probably be running the other way.

She did nothing other than lay there and stare out into space, so lost that she didn’t hear the door open, that she didn’t hear someone sit next to her, and didn’t even move until she felt someone touch her.

Raven jerked away from the truck, terrified before she saw the culprit and forced herself to breathe, Clarke’s words running through her mind.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” She told her, frowning at how Raven was still breathing hard.

Raven tried to smile at her but knew she was failing. “You’re fine, just jumpy, I did just get attacked a day ago.” She admitted, closing her eyes as she tried to push the memories away.

“Speaking of your attack,” she started, “do you know why they attacked you?”

She shrugged. “I walked into the wrong alley at the wrong time, interrupted them beating the fuck out of somebody and they ran after me.” She watched as the woman before her basically growled at the thought. “But, I’m fine now, would be finer if I could go home.”

“Right, about that.” Heda sighed. “You can leave, anytime you want actually, but, there are two conditions.”

“Ugh,” Raven groaned, “there’s always some conditions.”

“Well, you were attacked by a gang, a gang rival to mine, you’re not dead and they’re not really known for leaving witnesses.” Heda reasoned. “So, I want you to check in, every couple hours, a simple text would do, a picture, a call, whatever, just let us know you’re alive and you can be on your way,”

Raven eyed her, looking for any sign of tenses but finding none. “Fine,” she agreed. “What’s the other one?”

“Your name.”

The sentence was short but somehow, it seemed longer. Raven wasn’t one to tell a stranger her name, and less likely, not a gang leader. “My name?” She drawled out, watching her nod. “Wow, Okay, it’s Raven.”

“Raven,” she tested out, nodding as she headed for the door. “Lexa.” It dawned on Raven that this is the Lexa that Aden told her about when he had told her of his family.

“Hey, when can I leave?” Raven questioned before she was gone.

“Eager, I see.” She laughed when Raven glared at her. “Tomorrow, first thing.”

After the door was closed and she was alone, Raven smiled, knowing she could go home was all she needed to fall into a quick sleep. Her body ignoring the fact she couldn’t get comfortable she dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm alive guys, weird enough.


	5. Home, Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven finally gets home, but of course it’s not easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

> well well, what else did you really expect from octavia.

 

Sitting in the car with Lexa and Aden hadn’t been as awkward as she thought when she woke up that morning. Albeit there was the fact that she had quite literally told Lexa she wasn't going anywhere without Aden, seeing as it a little bit more protection. After all, not even a gang leader would kill in front of a child as young as he.

 

Though, to be fair, she only talked to Aden the entire car ride. Lexa didn’t seem to mind as she drove through the streets, eyes paying more attention to her surroundings than to the two of them in the backseat. She was looking for a specific landmark to indicate she was close to where Raven had told her to go, and she hadn't spotted it yet.

 

It had taken Raven well over thirty minutes to be persuaded to give Lexa an address even close to her actual address. Then another fifteen to convince her that they weren’t going to snatch her in the middle of the night, after a well-argued talk, she decided to give them Bellamy's address. She _would_ feel bad, but she didn’t because she knew Bellamy would have a fit if she didn’t. It became a rule that when you didn’t trust someone you have them his address because he’d set the record straight. 

 

So, that’s where the three of them were heading now. 

 

“So, are you in college?” Aden had taken to asking her anything but personal questions, something you’d ask a stranger on the street for conversation. 

 

Smiling, Raven nodded to him, “For  engineering.”

 

”Like cars and stuff?” Aden tilted his head, genuine curiosity in his voice. His eyes were solely focused on her, and she found that she didn't mind it when it was him.

 

“Exactly like that,” she told him, looking out the window to see how close they were. “I’ve been working with cars since before I could walk.” And she had, being raised with people who always had cars and those cars were always breaking down, and said people never had money to fix said broken cars, she picked up a little and every now and then.

 

Aden seemed to think about it, and Raven was beginning to worry that he was taking what she had said seriously. Sometimes she forgot that teenagers were very curious, that everything you said was picked apart thoroughly, seeing as she is still that way, only she's better at  _hiding_ it than he is.

 

But before she could open her mouth to speak again, he did, said curiosity in his voice. "Does everybody pick up what their around when they're young?"

 

The question, as simple as it may sound, was just as loaded as she knew he meant it to be. Brown eyes quickly finding green in the mirror, she asked a silent question and received a shake of the head before nodding discreetly and sighing.

 

"Nah, you pick up on what you're meant for, and if pick up something you aren't meant for you'll know it soon enough." Raven knew this wasn't the answer he wanted, and felt bad for lying, but it wasn't a full lie because it's true for half the world just as it untrue for the three people in the car. But, that's the answer she gave him because in the front seat was a gang leader who had a heart just enough to let him stay oblivious as he would allow himself to be.

 

She found it sweet how she cared, but deep down she knew it was going to come back to bite said gang leader in the ass. She also found it weird that out of all of the things that could've happened to her in that alley, her life was saved and now she's here, but she doesn't get to dwell long, seeing as Aden has more to talk about.

 

Raven heard him ramble about how he likes fighting and boxing and everything of the sort, and she senses it's because it's all he knows but knows better than to say that aloud. He goes on about how he'd make it a career one day and she smiles at him as she does, careful not to let it slip as they approach their final destination.

 

She had called Octavia before, letting her know she was coming, that she was being  _dropped off_ , making sure the girl knew to behave herself around the people, and she could only hope that she listened. Raven knew Octavia for years, watched the girl grow up into the teenager is now, and she'd be lying if she said she's not terrified right now. Whether for Lexa or Octavia, she doesn't know. and she's praying to  _god_ that she won't have to find out.

 

Then you had Octavia's older brother, Bellamy, who had taken to making everyone his younger sibling. Raven could never predict him, and it scares her because if she's fearing for his sixteen-year-old sister, then she's definitely fearing for him as well.

 

When Lexa came to a full stop in front of the Blake household, Raven hesitated to open the door, not sure what would happen once she did. But, she pushed it aside nodding to the two before opening the car door. She barely had ten seconds of fresh air before she was attacked.

 

"Raven!"

 

"Reyes!"

 

Two different names from the two different people who lived there, and she expected them both. Octavia was first, seeing as she was faster than Bellamy and she gathered woman into a bear hug, holding her tightly before Raven finally had to speak up against her will. "Ow." It was a soft whisper but enough to make Octavia let her go.

 

"Fuck, shit! Are you okay?!" Octavia was looking over her in an instant it made her smile softly before nodding, and she looked to Bellamy because she knew what was coming next.

 

He rolled his eyes before softly bringing Raven into his arms, minding her crutches. It was short and sweet but she got the point all the same:  _you scared the hell out of me. p.s., don't do it again_. She nodded against his shoulder and he let her go looking past her to the car while addressing Octavia. "Language, O."

 

She watched Octavia rolled her eyes before calling him out. "Fuck off, Bell, she's been  _gone_ , I'm sure you can understand the use or 'such language'." And as if remembering why she was using the language in the first place, Octavia spun around facing the car while glaring. "Is this the asshole who kidnapped you?!"

 

Bellamy was ready before Raven, holding Octavia back before she could round on the car and do something he's sure she'd regret in the later time. Raven turned to the car nodding her head and Lexa was off, Aden waving in the back as they drove away.

 

"I guess it's time to spill what's been happening for the last twenty-four hours." Raven tried to joke, getting glares from both of the Blakes before they responded in time with each other but two different tones.

 

"You think?!" Octavia practically screamed while Bellamy had sighed it before pushing Octavia in the direction the house before helping Raven in it. He led her to the couch where she told them about what happened.

 

* * *

 

 

"What the  _fuck_!" That's the first thing she heard when she finished recapping what happened to her and didn't even know which part Octavia was referring to because to her, she still wasn't sure what had happened herself.

 

"O!" Bellamy started, sighing from his spot across from Raven as he shook his head. "Can you  _please_  stop with the cursing?"

 

Octavia glared at him before turning back to Raven and then jumping up. "I forgot to call Clarke!" Raven groaned at the reminder that she had to tell her other friend about her time away from home with the strangers who saved her life. "She is going to be pissed, at you, me,  _Finn_."

 

Raven both winced and growled at his name and it didn't go by unnoticed by the Blakes, but only one found the courage to call her out on it, despite the hope that would refrain from doing just that.

 

"How are you over that, Rae?" Octavia asked, tight but laced with concern.

 

She shrugged. "Didn't really get much time to dwell on the fact that he..." She trailed off, leaving it at that and hoping that they would too.

 

Bellamy decided that this was his time to speak. "I went by his place," he started, "the little asshole wasn't there." He couldn't keep the growl out of his voice. "Good on his or I would've been too tempted beat the fuck out of him."

 

"Watch your language, Big Bro." Octavia laughed before turning to move to the seat next to Raven, throwing her arm over her shoulder. "What a hypocrite, am I right?"

 

"Yeah," came Raven's watery reply and that's when the dam she had finally broke and she let out a gut-wrenching sob before she buried her face into Octavia's neck. She missed the interaction between brother and sister that included the silent message that signaled another friend was to be called up, she didn't even feel a soft kiss to her head when Bellamy walked passed her to the kitchen.

 

All Raven could feel was her sense of both helplessness and hopelessness, and neither of the Blake siblings knew how to handle this side of Raven because, gratefully, she didn't exist forty-eight hours, and it pained of them majorly to see her this way: in both physical, mental _and_ emotional pain the can only imagine while knowing it  _much_ ,  _much_ worse than their imaginations could ever come up with.  Pained them to know they couldn’t help her, _not yet_ , at least. 


	6. Home Not Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is literal trash but is an update, so you have no choice but to take it.

> with three people to feel her pain for her, why should raven suffer

 

Waking up the second that day, the first thing Raven noticed was that the place she had fallen asleep was immediately not as comfortable as the last place she was in. 

 

Not maybe it was, but she couldn’t tell, she had a raging headache that had her groaning as she wished it away. 

 

“Hey,” she heard, “you’re awake.”

 

She knew that voice, and it wasn’t here when she went to sleep. Raven opened her eyes they landed on the blonde immediately, tears welling up. 

 

Clarke Griffin, one of her best friends, ex-enemy, and the person whose words kept her from going over the edge. Also the first girl Finn ever cheated on her with. 

 

Those tears that were welling started to fall, and she couldn’t resist the small sob that escaped her. “He did it again, Griffin.”

 

She saw Clarke nod, her mouth giving a tight, sad smile as she came over to kneel in front of Raven. 

 

“I know,” she sighed, but she shook the sad thoughts away. “He’s an idiot, again, but it doesn’t mean you get to keep a headache I know you have.”

 

Clarke’s hand came to her mouth, sliding a pill that she imagined was a painkiller before letting her sip from a cup. They both knew that pill wouldn’t kick in for another thirty minutes to an hour but it was the effort that counted. 

 

After Raven decided she’d drank all the water she wanted to, she pulled away from the cup. “How do you know I have one?”

 

Her friend laughed as she gave her look. “Not the first time we cried ourself sleep together.”

 

The words hit her hard and she was almost crying again, but she wasn’t, she didn’t _want_ to. Finn Collins wasn’t her or her tears. They both learned that a year ago, apparently she hadn’t learned her lesson and had to be taught twice. 

 

“Where are the Wonder Twins?” She questioned, wanting a change of topic from a recent disaster. 

 

She heard a deep deep laugh from somewhere behind but knew pain would be a bitch if she did. “We’re not even twins, Rae.”

 

”Bold, assuming I care.” Her words make Bellamy laugh and it made her feel normal again, and that was something she wanted to feel forever. 

 

“Right, sorry, Rae.” He apologized with fake sympathy before coming around the couch, kneeling next to Clarke as she mad room for him. “How’s the headache?”

 

Raven groaned, turning her head away from them. “Does everyone here know I have one?” Both idiots in front of her nodded, and they were weirdly in sync. She groaned once again before turning to face them, a sad smile crossing over her features. “I’m fine.”

 

Clarke sighed, as she shook her head. “You’re not, actually.” And apparently she Knew raven too well for only a few months of friendships because she gave her the _Griffin Stare_ when she opened her mouth to speak. “I’m going to be blunt: you were cheated on, assaulted, kidnaped, and then released, all within two days.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “The psychological pain you’re in is undeniable, as is the mental pain that was caused by the attack. Which I’m going to talk you about at a later time.”

 

”Why not now?” She muttered, they already felt the need to put on her blast, they might as well come full force. 

 

Clarke frowned at the tone, looking to Bellamy for help. “Raven, you’re dealing with enough right now, but if you want to know…”

 

Bellamy was giving her a choice; know everything now and deal later _or_ wait until later to be broken again. The smart choice would be the former, but she didn’t want to know. The amount the she added up to the worst possibility and she wasn’t ready for it to be confirmed. 

 

Raven nodded her head anyway though, she already had her life destroyed why not some more.

 

”Well, I don’t know much but that when I tried to examine as much a possible through the cast, you screamed in pain.” Clarke’s eyes went to her leg before connecting with her eyes once more. “I though you’d woken up but you were still asleep, your body reacted but your mind didn’t.”

 

Raven just looked at her, she already knew her leg hurt, she was in pain ever since she woke up into the room Lexa and Aden has her in. This was nothing new. “I know it hurts, I feel it all the time.”

 

Clarke shook her head. “When people feel pain in their sleep, they usually wake up, but you slept soundly as you mouth let out an ear-piercing scream.”

 

”And what does that mean, _exactly_ , Clarke?”

 

She didn’t like where this was going, they were sugarcoating something, and they’ve never done that, ever.

 

Clarke sighed, looking to Bellamy for help. Out of the two of them, Bellamy appealed more to people’s feelings sometimes, apparently now was one of those times. 

 

Bellamy sighed as well, putting his arm on Raven’s shoulder and he found her eyes. “Raven, from what Clarke told me, some of the nerves in your leg have been... disconnected from the other nerves.” Raven’s body tended under his hand at those words, she had a clue what they were trying to say now. “She says they’re not fully disconnected but it’s enough to know that...”

 

He has enough of a heart not to finish the sentence, but it was too late, Raven had got on. “It’s enough to know that I might now walk again.”

 

The two people in front of her nodded, eyes sad as they looked at her. She didn’t know what she was supposed to feel. Clarke and Bellamy seemed sad, and she doesn’t even what Octavia think because she’s not her. But all she does know is that she just doesn’t know how to feel. 

 

She didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, which she knew was worrying the hell out of her friends but she couldn’t care less right now. “Can you leave?”

 

The question obviously took them off guard, their eyes widened in shock as Bellamy removed his hand from her. “Rav-”

 

”I want to be alone.”

 

They didn’t try to fight her, they simply sighed and left, well, Bellamy did, he was probably planning Finn’s funeral, Clarke was too, she sensed it. But Clarke stayed for a few seconds longer. 

 

Her eyes were sad, but they weren’t pitying, they were just sad. She gave Raven a sad smile to go with those sad eyes before she left the room, leaving Raven to wat her walk away and be left alone. 

 

Raven had no right to feel liek they’d left her, they’d done just as she’d asked, but maybe she wanted them to put up a fight, wanted to know that someone wanted to be around her. Right now, all she felt was people were just leaving, bur she knew they had reasons.   
  


Finn had obviously left her, Bellamy left without a word because he didn’t tenis what to say, Clarke was probably trying not to scold her about taking Fin back, and O was probably trying to locate the asshole to beat the shit out of him because she couldn’t take Raven being sad because if him. 

 

But she still felt alone, she’s been surrounded by people since she’s been away from Finn, albeit the first people were gang members and second are her best friends, Raven just felt alone. The one person she thought she could count on, failed her, again. And she has nobody to blame but herself for being stupid enough to give him a second chance. 

 

So, she stares at the ceiling and cries, not wailing, not sobbing, not screaming, just cries. There’s tears falling out of her eyes, running down the side of her face, but she’s not making any noise. She’s silent, as silent as the day she lost it all one fateful night, she felt numb then and she felt numb now. 

 

But it wasn’t the kind of numb that dentists give you so you won’t feel pain, or the kind doctors give you for surgery. Air was kind where your body and your mind agree that you need to feel pain, the kind where all you feel in pain, the kind where you’re in so much pain that you can’t even feel it, describe, or pinpoint the origin. 

 

It the kind of numb you would never wish in anyone, not even the one that did you wrong the most, and she’s doesn’t even care to think because when she finally blinks, she makes a noise. It’s a scream, a scream that had Bellamy and Clarke wincing from where they were in kitchen, trying to figure out what to do. 

 

It was a scream that only people in pin could make, because it took all that pain and tried to release it into the world, but it didn’t go anywhere, it sat at the back of her throat, mocking her. And she finally sobbed, painfully as she flipped her body on the side, despite the uncomfortableness of the cast, so that she could stuff her face into the couch. 

 

She cried herself to sleep again. Finn had took her heart, and her love. The boy who saved her from herself all those years ago, had come around full circle to cause her the same pain. He’s taken her love, her hear, her freedom, her carefreeness, and her ability to walk. She’s surprised he hasn’t taken her life, but she’s not going to give to him. 

 

She’s given him enough.   
  


And it was then that Raven decided, Finn wouldn’t take anything from her, he wouldn’t take anything from anybody. She doesn’t know how, but she’s going to everything he has and burn it to ground. 

 

Raven could be the nicest person you’ve ever met, but right now, she was setting up the best revenge plan that’s the worlds ever seen. 


End file.
